im crying so badly now i dont know how i can even read anything.
today has been officially the worse day of my whole life. i talked to her and it just got me worse. after hanging up the whole, i just burst into tears. i couldnt take it. i just broke down. i mean im breaking down. i had a fight with my sister. shes pissed at me. everyone is practically pissed at me. im such a hopeless case. i cant even help myself get over one silly relationship, thats how she relates our relationship to. nothing but a normal relationship. for me it was more than just a normal relationship. definately more. i cant explain in words how much it meant to me. but it doesnt mean anything to her. our relationship was just a rubbish she threw away after using it.
pik, stop telling the whole world my life story. they dont need to know. i know my mum called u. but that doesnt mean u have to tell the whole world whats happening to me. just dont.
im helping myself to grow out of this stupidity i have. i have a very big urge to cut myself. im holding it in. but i dont know how long i can handle it until i cut myself again. people say it doesnt help at all, but it helps for me. i love pain. pain gets all the anger and sadness away from me. thats what i want. i dont want to feel anymore anger and sadness. i just want to be a normal human being that is happy. i dont know how i can handle counselling. i might just break down there and there. fuck this. i fucking hate this life of mine.
rick.
today has been officially the worse day of my whole life. i talked to her and it just got me worse. after hanging up the whole, i just burst into tears. i couldnt take it. i just broke down. i mean im breaking down. i had a fight with my sister. shes pissed at me. everyone is practically pissed at me. im such a hopeless case. i cant even help myself get over one silly relationship, thats how she relates our relationship to. nothing but a normal relationship. for me it was more than just a normal relationship. definately more. i cant explain in words how much it meant to me. but it doesnt mean anything to her. our relationship was just a rubbish she threw away after using it.
pik, stop telling the whole world my life story. they dont need to know. i know my mum called u. but that doesnt mean u have to tell the whole world whats happening to me. just dont.
im helping myself to grow out of this stupidity i have. i have a very big urge to cut myself. im holding it in. but i dont know how long i can handle it until i cut myself again. people say it doesnt help at all, but it helps for me. i love pain. pain gets all the anger and sadness away from me. thats what i want. i dont want to feel anymore anger and sadness. i just want to be a normal human being that is happy. i dont know how i can handle counselling. i might just break down there and there. fuck this. i fucking hate this life of mine.
rick.
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